Most of us have an idea in our mind of what we want evenings at home to look like—home-cooked dinners, stimulating conversations, and cozy bedtime stories. The reality doesn’t always match the ideal, though. Parents and children are often tired and hungry when they first get home. Parents feel pressure to get dinner ready or check email. Children vie for their parents’ attention. And then there’s bedtime, which is often more chaotic than cozy.
Why is Routine Important for Children?
Whether you’re naturally organized or a free spirit, a regular routine can help tame the chaos, creating a more peaceful atmosphere in your home. The best evening routines are simple and flexible, yet offer some consistency. Each family’s routine will be slightly different, but should focus on meeting three basic needs:
- Social needs: attention and connection
- Physical needs: food, cleanliness, and sleep
- Emotional needs: stress release and well-being
How you meet these needs is not nearly as important as that you do meet them — for both your children and yourself. Developing a flexible — yet predictable — routine creates a framework for meeting these needs automatically, even when life gets busy. The ideas below aren’t meant to be all-inclusive, but can serve as a starting point to help you develop and tweak a nighttime routine that works for your family.
4 Night Routine Activities for Families
- Banish the 5 o’clock blues. For most families, the first hour after arriving home is the hardest. Establish an after-school routine to smooth the transition. Create a space for backpacks, papers, keys, and laptops and put these items where they belong as you walk in the door. Turn on some peaceful music. Put out a light snack, such as crackers and cheese or sliced apples. Talk with your children about their day as you share the snack. Once their immediate needs have been addressed, children are ready to move onto evening activities. Need to check in with work? Talk as a family about carving out some time during the evening for this so that it’s intentional and doesn’t consume your entire night.
- Establish family dinners. Whether you love to cook or you’d rather order in, family dinner is as much about the company as it is about the food. Try to eat together at the table at least three nights each week. Enlist your partner and children in helping prepare the meal and cleaning the kitchen. Even young children can wash vegetables, spin a salad, or put bowls on the table. Keep a few frozen meals, prepped vegetables, or bagged salads on hand for busy evenings.
- Set aside time for a ten-minute tidy. It might be tempting to leave the dishes in the sink and the house in disarray, but you’ll sleep better and have a more peaceful morning if you tackle chores before you go to bed. Many families do a “ten-minute tidy” before dinner or bedtime. Pick up toys, pack backpacks, clean the kitchen, and prep dinner for the next evening.
- Unwind. Home can be a sanctuary for both children and adults after a busy day. Try building time to unwind into your evenings. This might include going for a walk, reading together, playing a board game, or watching a family movie. Warm baths and bedtime stories are a traditional part of the night routines of many families. Try to turn off all screens at least an hour before bedtime, according to the National Sleep Foundation. Screens suppress melatonin production, which is essential for healthy sleep.
Most families have times and seasons that are busier than others. During these times, some of your routines might need to change or be simplified. Remember, how we meet basic family needs is less important than that we meet them. It’s okay to ditch traditions that no longer work in favor of something that might be even better.
More on Children’s Routines
- Whether your children are going back to school or transitioning into a new routine, getting ready in the morning doesn’t have to be a struggle. Get tips for getting out the door and strategies for dealing with resistance.
- After a long day at work, the last thing a tired parent wants to do is engage in a daycare pick-up battle with a child who isn’t quite ready to head home. Here are ways you can make the end-of-day child care routine a little easier.
- Hear wellness expert Christina Reale discuss different ways working parents can fit everyday wellness into their lives, focusing on key elements such as nutrition, sleep, exercise, and stress.