Change is a constant companion for military families . Whether you are navigating deployment, settling into a new community, or helping your child adjust to yet another school, the challenges you face require strength, adaptability, and heart. 

Resilience is your family’s superpower: it’s the force that helps you bounce back, stay grounded, and keep moving forward. It’s not just for adults; children need it too. When children learn to build resilience—cope with transitions, express emotions, and build confidence—they grow stronger with you. 

To deepen our understanding of how to best support military families, we spoke with Rachel Robertson, Chief Academic Officer at Bright Horizons. Drawing from her professional expertise and personal insights, Rachel offers a powerful perspective on nurturing resilience in both adults and children, especially in the face of the unique challenges military families encounter.

How adults can build resilience 

Resilience is about growing stronger through unique challenges that life throws at you. 

From frequent relocations to long deployments, military life can test emotional strength and adaptability. Here’s how you can nurture resilience in yourself:

Mental well-being

Good mental health sets a foundation for building resilience, especially during times of uncertainty and change.

• Mindfulness and stress management: Practicing deep breathing, meditation, or journaling can help reduce stress and improve your emotional regulation. This can be especially helpful during deployments or moves. 
• Build a strong support system: “When you go through something challenging, stressful, or intensive, it can feel like you’re on your own, but if you just tell people what’s going on, or ask for a little bit of help, there are so many people that want to be supportive ,” says Rachel.  
• Open communication: Share your feelings and expectations with your partner or trusted friend or family member to create a stronger support system during challenging times. “Don’t let it all be on your shoulders”, Rachel suggests

Personal growth

Resilience also stems from intentional self-development and creating stability in your daily life.

• Set personal goals: Whether it’s pursuing education, exercise, or a new skill, setting goals can help provide a sense of direction and boost self-confidence.
• Try a new hobby: Exploring new interests can be a great way to relieve stress and rediscover joy. 
• Maintain a routine: Routines bring structure and comfort, which can help you settle down faster, especially after a move. Start by incorporating one morning workout, family dinner, or weekend activity into your life. 

How to support resilience in children

Like adults, children in military families face unique emotional and social challenges due to frequent moves or long separation from a parent. Building resilience in children means helping them feel secure, understood, and empowered to adapt to these changes. 

Emotional support

• Encourage open conversations: Invite your child to share their feelings, doubts, and fears. Consistently reassure them that it’s okay to be sad, confused, or anxious, especially when a parent is away. Having these conversations builds trust and emotional awareness. 
• Model and teach stress management: Rachel suggests, “Include your child in whatever destresses you so you can model for them how to manage and reduce stress.”
• Give children some control: Military life brings big changes that children can’t control. Offering them choices in everyday situation helps restore a sense of stability. Whether it’s deciding what game to play, choosing their own outfit, or picking a snack, having a say gives children confidence and reminds them that their voice matters.  

Routine

For children, it is especially important to have consistency like:

• Establish daily routines: maintain consistent schedules for meals, bedtime, and activities. Predictable routines help children feel safer and more in control. 
• Keep family rituals: If your family reads bedtime stories as part of your nightly ritual, continue doing that. Think of creative ways to still maintain some of those rituals so that it still feels somewhat normal during these challenging times. For example, the parent that’s deploying can record reading some stories before they go, or grandparents and friends can join in to make these rituals a little extra special during these times. 
• Start new traditions: In a recent interview, Rachel shared a story of how she remembered her youngest daughter always asking, “why do we have to wait for everything until dad comes home?” during her husband’s deployment. This made her change her perspective on things and realized that you can create new activities or things to do during this time that’s special just for you and your child. 

Educational and social support

• Stay connected with friends: Frequent moves will disrupt your child’s social life and friendships. Help your child stay in touch with friends by encouraging them to write letters and make phone or video calls.
• Partner with schools: If you’re not in a military community, teachers and staff may not know exactly how to help. Try saying, “Things are changing in our lives, I have a few ideas for how you can help, but I’d love for your ideas too” or “My routine might change, do you have any advice for me?” This can open a great conversation so that your child’s educators know that there are changes coming and that they have the opportunity to partner with your family. 
• Encourage new interests: Support your child in exploring new hobbies and activities. This will help them build confidence, make new friends, and discover new interests.

Practicing resilience as a family

Resilience is strongest when it’s shared. Here’s how your family can create a sense of unity, stability, and strength. 

• Celebrate small wins: Whether it’s a successful move or simply getting through a long week, take time to acknowledge and celebrate small milestones together. These moments represent progress and positivity. 
• Highlight positives of military life: Even though military life comes with its share of challenges, it also offers unique opportunities like travel, cultural experiences, and a strong community. Highlighting these positives can help shift perspective and foster gratitude.
• Incorporate journaling: Journaling can be a helpful ritual for you and your children. By figuring out how to name and articulate feelings in writing, everyone in your family can process stress and worries, identify things to be grateful for, and build resilience through reflection. Free writing or journaling with prompts both provide valuable opportunities and space to explore thoughts and feelings.
• Stay connected: Maintaining emotional closeness during separation is key. Schedule regular video calls, exchange letters, or keep a shared journal where each family member can write updates, thoughts, or drawings. These small efforts of staying connected will help bridge the distance and keep relationships strong.

Resources for military family support

Bright Horizons is committed to supporting military families through partnerships and services tailored to meet each unique need. Whether helping children navigate deployment or offering flexible child care options for parents, Bright Horizons offers meaningful resources that make a difference. 

Bright Horizons offers back-up care services and partners with trusted organizations like Blue Star Families  and Military Child Care In Your Neighborhood (MCCYN) to ensure that families have access to reliable military family support networks and care solutions. 

Resilience is built on strength, adaptability, communication, and self-care. Prioritizing emotional support, consistent routines, and personal growth makes a meaningful difference for both you and your children. 

Remember, resilience is a journey, not a destination. It’s something you build day by day through shared experiences, open communication, and intentional support. 

For more information on how Bright Horizons can support you and your family, visit our Military Family Resources page.