Reducing separation anxiety in young children can feel especially challenging during transitions like starting daycare for the first time or adjusting to a new classroom. Separation from someone we love can be painful both for children and parents, especially in a child care setting. It is typical for separation anxiety in children to come and go throughout the early years as they learn to navigate time away from their trusted caregivers. 

With thoughtful strategies, consistent routines, and strong caregiver partnerships, you can help your child feel more secure, build trust, and ease the process of adjusting to daycare for both of you.

The importance of parent-teacher relationships

Your child’s teacher serves as a close partner to you and your family in the daily care and education of your child. Take the time to invest in this relationship—it can be one of the most important ones in your family’s life, especially when helping children adjust to a new caregiver or transitioning to a new daycare classroom.
  
Talk to your child’s caregiver at morning drop-offs and after-school pick-ups if possible.  Let them know how your child’s night went, what their mood is, and if there are any unusual issues. 
At the end of the day, find out what your child enjoyed doing and what their highlights or struggles of the day were. 

If needed to support your child through the challenges of separation anxiety, develop a communication plan during the day that will allow you to feel reassured about how your child is doing post drop-off. Many child care centers have technology in place for just this, helping ease worries about how long separation anxiety lasts or signs your child is adjusting to daycare. 

How to reduce separation anxiety in babies

• Keep the separation positive. Your child will pick up on your stress and can become agitated. Try your best to maintain a positive demeanor during this time. Your child can pick up on your positive, upbeat attitude which will send the message that they are in a safe place.
• Don’t rush the separation. Sit with your child for a while so they can adjust to the new environment and people in the room, while having their trusted caregiver by their side. This is especially important when helping infants build trust with new caregivers
• When your child seems comfortable, let your caregiver take them. It’s nice for your child to be in a devoted caregiver’s arms when you leave.  
• Kiss and hug your child goodbye and then leave. Don’t prolong your departure; that can only become confusing to your child. If your baby is crying when you leave, or even if they are not, don’t hesitate to call your caregiver or center a little later to see how your child is doing.

How to reduce separation anxiety in toddlers and preschoolers

• Plan a visit to your child's child care center before dropping them off for their first day. This is a great way to prepare your child for a new classroom and ease anxiety around moving up to a new classroom at daycare.
• Greet the caregiver and other children as you enter the room. This helps normalize the environment and supports helping children feel comfortable at daycare.
• Spend time helping your child into an activity before engaging in extensive conversation with the caregiver.  Children love to interact with their environment, so involving your child in a play activity will help them transition more easily.
• Let your caregiver know how your child is doing that morning and if there is any change in their schedule. This can help your child’s caregiver provide the proper support for smoother transitions.

How to make daycare drop-off easier

• Create a departure ritual that you follow each time you leave, whether it is at child care or at home.  Soon this ritual will become familiar and your child will be comfortable with it.
  Try sitting down and reading one book with your child, then giving a hug and leaving or give two high-fives, doing a little dance and saying, “see you later!” 
• Draw a picture with your child and let them keep it with them throughout the day. 
• Sit with your child while they engage in an activity with a friend.  When they are fully engaged and settled, give your child a choice on how to say goodbye and leave.
• Let your child hold a picture of the family or something of yours as you leave. This may feel like a secure connection to you and helps reduce separation anxiety in young children. 
• Partner with your child’s teacher for your departure ritual. Signal to your child’s teacher when you are ready to leave, so they can assist in comforting your child.
  It is deeply important that to ensure that your child knows you are leaving, especially during the first weeks of daycare.  Sneaking out can cause more separation anxiety as they won’t know where you went and when you left. 
• Try your best to pick up when you said you would, barring things out of your control.  If you said you would be there after nap, try to be there after nap, as this will continue to build trust. Work with your child’s teacher to help create a visual check-off list of things that are happening before pick-up.
  For some children, having a visual they can revisit throughout the day with a caregiver can help ease anxiety. The action of crossing something off, or checking a box, helps a child visualize that they are one step closer to their trusted adult returning. 

Ready to learn more about reducing separation anxiety in young children?

While separation from someone we love can be painful, a thoughtful partnership with caregivers and consistent routines can make a meaningful difference in reducing separation anxiety in young children.

At Bright Horizons, our teachers create a supportive, nurturing environment designed to help your child feel confident, build trust, and settle in more comfortably from day one.