Helping Children Understand Natural Disaster
Even if we only
have a moment to think about what to say and how to say it, try to remember
to:
- Get your own feelings and thoughts straight. Have another adult listen
to you first if you aren’t sure you are ready to talk to your
child.
- Try to be your most thoughtful, calm, and emotionally stable self
when you talk to children.
- Watch your words, tone, and body language. You may give a nonverbal
message of calm, sadness, anger, confusion, or indifference.
- Ask children what they think the words that they are using or hearing
mean: death, drowning, loss, weather, disaster, hero.
- Understand what they already know and feel by asking “What
are you thinking and feeling?”
- Find natural opportunities to ask what’s on the child’s
mind and follow his or her lead. Recognize the clues in a child’s
art, play, or conversations with friends. Accept his or her feelings.
- When you encourage a young child to draw, play, or talk about his
or her feelings, you give permission to freely express scary or angry
thoughts.
- Honestly share your feelings, but always try to be in control of
your emotions in the presence of your children.
- Be strong in a crisis even when feeling sad, scared, confused, or
angry. The child needs to draw upon your strength, not take care of
you.
- Provide the child hope by simply sharing hugs or reassuring smiles
that say,“I’m here for you and we will make it through this.”
Stay tuned in to your child.
Keep listening, asking, conversing with, and reassuring the child
as his or her thoughts and feelings evolve. Remember that every child
is different. The explanation of national, global, or personal events
needs to match the child’s developmental understanding and personality.
Don’t give more information than the child is ready for.
Protect your child’s idealism.
Children are born idealists. For them, the world is a good place
where nature is usually friendly and predictable, people are mostly
good, and life is worth living. Sudden exposure to catastrophe or violence
tests their idealism and optimism as well as ours.
Stay alert to signs of stereotyping and racism.
In times of conflict or exposure to societal issues, “us versus
them” mentalities, ethnic and social class stereotypes, and contempt
for behaviors different from our own may lead to racism and cultural
bias. Children need us to model tolerance, respect for diversity, and
an interest in learning about other people, cultures, and countries.
In every conversation work toward greater understanding across ethnic,
cultural, and social class lines. Be at your best as a human being.
Steer your child toward helping actively.
The feelings of powerlessness and helplessness shared both by children
and adults after a crisis are alleviated through action. Our sense of
power is restored by taking steps to improve our own current situation
or to increase our preparedness for future situations. Finding ways
to connect with others in the community and around the world to show
our common humanity has the same result. Some ways to do this include
finding pen pals, fundraising or donating money, cultural exchanges,
and crosscommunity clean up or work projects. |