Ready, Set, Go! How to Beat the Morning Rush

What should our hectic morning goal be? Not to have a lavish breakfast or a lengthy family meeting, but just to get everyone dressed with lunches, backpacks, and briefcases in hand – always leaving time for a quick story, song or hug. Unfortunately, young children have no sense of time and quickly come to believe that the definition of hurry is "Mommy and Daddy are getting cranky." So what can we do? If after encouraging and coaxing, our children fail to produce the desired results and we resort to nagging, pleading, and some yelling, our children may learn that we spend more time focusing on them during times of resistance than during times of cooperation. Mornings like this leave us frustrated, exhausted and discouraged.

Here are some ideas that may help you organize and experience less hectic mornings:

• Prepare as much as possible the night before.
  Pick out clothes for the next day, including yours. If possible, pick out clothes for the entire week on Sunday night. Include underwear, socks and even hair accessories for girls.

• Keep items in the same spot.
  Place backpacks and briefcases by the door with homework and office work packed inside. Know what shoes everyone will be wearing and place those by the door. Looking for lost shoes at the last minute makes everyone frantic.

• Get up earlier if you're always running late.
  A few extra minutes of sleep may seem like the best way to cope with the morning rush, but those minutes can make the difference between hectic and hurried.

• Have a consistent morning routine.
  Children are more cooperative and more comfortable when they know what to expect.

• Have a "first this, then this" policy.
  Younger children may not have a sense of time, but they do understand sequence. Create little reminders such as, "You may not go downstairs until you are dressed," or, "You may play after breakfast."

• Don't expect miracles.
  Children approach life with a more relaxed, slower pace than we do, and we could all take a lesson from that. Even with seemingly flawless plans, unexpected events can always happen. For really important I can't be late mornings, have your children go to sleep in their day clothes. Comfortable sweats or shorts work well.

Why do mornings seem so difficult? First of all, we're in a time crunch. There is so much to do in a short period of time. "Morning is the time in which temperamental differences may be most evident – the child who is slow to get going clashes with the mother or father who is fast paced. Or the child who is crabby clashes with the parent who is also crabby," say authors Ellen Galinsky and Judy David, in The Preschool Years: Family Strategies That Work – from Experts and Parents, (Times Books, 1988). Finally, mornings provide the perfect opportunity for children to assert their individuality. With the clock ticking for work and meetings, this is prime time for power struggles.

The Canadian Child Care Federation offers these suggestions for starting the day off right:

• Unhurried Moments
  Make sure everybody has enough sleep and rises early enough to avoid rushing. Give yourselves time for some unhurried moments together before you have to leave the house.

• Night Before Chores
  To save time in the morning, do things the night before. After dinner, for example, prepare lunch boxes and leave them in the fridge overnight. And after you clear away the dinner things, set the breakfast table for the next morning. Ask family members to bath/shower/wash hair the night before, if possible. Gather permission forms, lunch money or notebooks.

• Offer Encouragement
  If a small child is prone to dawdling, you may have to keep an eye on her and offer frequent reminders. When you are busy in the kitchen and the child's room is on another level, have her dress nearby where you can supervise while you work.

• Give Yourself More Time
  Add 10 or 15 extra minutes to your usual schedule. If the child is ready on time, spend it reading, talking, or doing some other activity together, making sure you give him your undivided attention during this period.

• Set Reasonable Expectations
  Expect your children to do what they are capable of, for example, washing and dressing themselves if they are old enough. This may be an unreasonable expectation for a younger child. Set one task at a time to make expectations seem more attainable.

• Have a Family Meeting
  When children are old enough to join in a family discussion, sit down together, perhaps the night before, to talk about ways to make the morning better.

• Getting Out the Door
  If a child has not been cooperative, use the extra 10-15 minutes to get him ready with as little fuss as possible. Do not scold or chat; just do what is necessary to leave on time.

• Spend Time Together
  Promise and follow through to spend time together if the morning routine goes smoothly. Don't forget to praise your children on days when everything works well and your family starts the day on time!

Children may resist morning routines by arguing about breakfast food, debating about what clothes to wear, or playing when they should be getting ready to leave. Children often seek our attention in the morning, especially when we are rushing. Our children soon learn that when they resist, argue or stall, they get our attention. These morning difficulties may arise even when we give our children plenty of attention at other times. What can you do to spur on the uncooperative child and give him a sense of power and control?

• Encourage and remind, but try not to nag. Let them experience the consequences of procrastinating. This may mean missing breakfast or forgetting their homework.

• Establish an agreement that the TV doesn't go on in the morning until the chores are done, if at all.

• Create a routine chart with your child, and involve your child by asking "what's next on the routine chart?" They can help cut out pictures and design the chart. Have stickers for your child to place on the steps he completes.

• Use an alarm clock in children's rooms. This will ensure that you wake them up at the same time each morning and you haven't gotten lost looking over your emails. This will prepare them for elementary school as well.

• Ask children whether they would like your help getting ready.

• Avoid lectures. Instead, asking "what" and "how"; questions such as "what happens when you don't get dressed in the morning?" and "How do you feel about missing the school bus?" will entice conversation with our children. These questions help children think for themselves, whereas our lectures may make them stop listening.

• Talk about times when you have procrastinated, what happened as a result, and how you felt about it.

• Plan ahead, and give your child enough time to succeed on his own. Remember to give reminders and establish clear expectations regarding your routine.

• Let your child know that you need their help and say, "I would appreciate you getting dressed so we can get to school before circle time." This invites cooperation instead of defiance.